Best While Angry
by samayooo
Summary: COMPLETED. Crack and smut all rolled up into one. "What if Xanxus was secretly a pimp?" BelxFran/B26. Sequel will be posted soon! Temporary title. To dearest uke hoar, joyeux anniversaire!


_To dearest uke hoar,_

_Happy birthday. ewe_

_Trololol~_

* * *

Everything was seemingly ordinary in the Varia headquarters, in one of the many seemingly quiet rooms, where a few guardians were gathered, seemingly relaxing. It was just another seemingly ordinary day.

"What if Xanxus was secretly a pimp?"

That is, until one of the guardians spoke up. (And with that, it was no longer a seemingly ordinary day in the Varia headquarters - scratch that, nothing was ever ordinary there.) The voice belonged to no other than Varia's genius, Bel, or rather, the prince, as he fancied. A frown formed on his lips as pair of confused eyes, but otherwise, perfectly blank face turned towards the lounging prince. "Hey," Bel began, "don't give me that look, uncute kouhai."

Fran simply continued to stare at the prince. He opted to say something, but before he could get out just how stupid he thought that was, Levi walked in towards them.

"He directs porn." the lightning guardian said matter-of-factly as he stopped before them both.

Fran now turned his eyes towards the idiot lightning guardian. But before he got to comment how equally stupid both ideas were, Bel spoke up.

"And you're in them." Bel proceeded to laugh as if it the most hilarious thing in the world, ushishi-ing uncontrollably.

Levi sputtered a response of gibberish as he gave a look that was mix between happiness and embarrassment. In a porno, directed by his lovely boss?

The stupid look on his face fueled Bel's laughter more.

Just then, Lussuria walked in and shook his head, his hands out at his side. "No, no, wrong." He spoke, as if he knew everything. He lifted a finger of enlightenment in the air. "That's wrong. Because you're all in them." He corrected, nodding knowingly.

Bel's laughter fell short, and a heavy silence pursued. Suddenly, it wasn't funny anymore.

However, Lussuria failed to see this and looked to the currently present guardians, confused as to why it was suddenly so silent.

And then Levi had to open his big mouth, "So then, who'd bring in the most cash?"

The heavy silence turned awkward, Fran noted. Seriously, who even asks that? What kind of idiot senpai did he have -

"Bel?" Lussuria suggested.

Now, _that's_ funny. Okay, so they weren't that bad.

The prince's face was completely annoyed now, and he was going to see to it that they understood just how annoyed he was, until he was interrupted. "Oi-"

"And Fran?" Levi quickly added.

Never mind. All his senpai were idiots. Complete and total idiots.

As the other two doubled over with laughter, Bel looked in their direction, as if demanding an explanation. "Oh? And how's that?"

And Bel was a stupid senpai prince. A stupid, idiot senpai prince for even challenging their decision, rather than refuting it like any normal person - oh, right, Varia was anything but normal.

"Well?"

Lussuria looked at Bel as if he were stupid for just asking the question, thankfully Bel didn't pick up on it because he didn't feel like being skewered. Again, he answered in a it's-so-obvious tone of voice, "Angry sex is the best sex."

* * *

Fran had long ditched the idiots who kept arguing over the stupid topic from earlier. He refused to be around them any longer, if he could help it, so he simply left them to their stupidity. It was about night time, so hopefully, he could find somewhere that he could resume that peaceful silence. "Really, Bel-senpai is such an idiot." He droned, however, before he could finish the sentence, he rounded the corner and bumped into someone. He felt himself being caught before he actually saw it happening. When he managed to collect himself again, he opened his eyes to a grinning face.

"Ushishi, now, who's an idiot again, froggy?"

When Fran saw it was just Bel, he gave a deadpan look, "You, didn't you hear me Bel-senpai? I wasn't whispering-"

"Shut it," the prince frowned now as he adjusted their awkward position slowly, helping both of them to stand. "You are so uncute." Honestly, he had half the nerve to drop that stupid frog.

Fran simply shrugged, and proceeded to start walking again.

And Bel followed a few steps behind him.

The walk resumed in silence. Matter of fact, after some time, Fran had even forgot about his long sought peace, having been so caught up in the stalking prince. Just what could he want now? He shifted his gaze, peering out of the corner of his eyes to watch the silent prince. At least he had his normal, usual stupid grin on his face. To be honest though, the prince following him with said dumb smile on his face and being eerily silent was a combo that was beginning to even disturb the mist guardian.

"Bel-senpai?"

"Uncute kouhai?"

He wondered what he could ask to find out what the hell was wrong with this idiot prince. He finally settled on something ambiguous, "Did you need something?"

"I'm angry."

This is where Fran stopped dead in his tracks to actually whirl around to face Bel. And as if he couldn't comprehend what he just said, he asked, "What?"

"The prince said," He walked towards Fran, who was backing away, probably not sure what to make of this situation. "He is angry." Bel had walked until Fran's back was against a wall. He watched the frog look behind him, then turn front.

"Oh." What else could he say?

"Do you know why?"

Fran stared at Bel so hard. Had the bumbling prince hit his head before they met up? Because how the hell was he suppose to know the answer to that? He bit back this remark, given his current position and situation, deciding he didn't want to be a pin cushion again, and instead settled for, "No?"

"Ushishi," He laughed one of those laughs that made it seem as if he thought this was all very hilarious. "I don't either."

Fran found that he could do nothing but stare at the grinning idiot of a prince. But before he could ask if the idiot prince had lost or had actually hit his head somehow, he flinched, feeling cool metal against his skin. He reluctantly opened his eyes and warily glanced to what he assumed was one of Bel's many knives. Boy, how he wished he was wrong. The mist guardian held back a sigh, wondering what it was he did now. And then decided to voice this, "Bel-senpai, what exactly did I do now?"

"Nothing."

Oh that's a relief.

"Ushishi, except, I'm going to take it out on you." He took the dull end of the knife and ran it across Fran's cheek, and to one of the veins of his neck as he licked his lips.

That wasn't a relief. Crap, he didn't want a hole in his neck. "Bel-senpai-"And suddenly his words were being cut off by - Bel's lips? Wait, what? He found himself struggling against the crazy prince when he felt a tongue protrude into his mouth. The kiss was anything but gentle - it was forceful, passionate, dominating. Somehow, his distracted mind wandered back to the knife still dangerously located at his neck. With all the strength he could muster, he broke the kiss and managed to knock the knife away in the struggle, panting.

"Oh, you dumb froggy, why would you go and do that?"

Now that he thought about it, that was rather stupid. He was Prince the freaking Ripper. Of course he had more knives ready and waiting to slice him, if he so chose. Actually, now that he thought about that too, this seemed strange. What were his intentions? Fran had to wonder. "Aren't you ... trying to kill me?"

"Kill you? Ushishi. You dumb kohai, if I wanted to do that, don't you think I already would have?"

Fran mentally winced to himself. This was all so true. So then, what could the insane prince want of him? "Then, what are you going to do?"

Bel gave him no answer, except another vigorous kiss. It was a quick, coarse kiss. As he pulled away, he cupped Fran's cheek, leaned in close, his mouth on the other's ear. He was pretty sure Fran could feel his feral grin on his ear. In a low voice, he finally replied, "I'm only doing what's best while angry."

Fran's mind tried to process that. The only thing he could think of was killing him, which he already said he wasn't going to do. So what other options were left? Because he couldn't obviously mean -

"After all," he began, another wide smile on his lips. "Angry sex is the best sex."

- oh, he did mean that.

Oh.

Well, crap?

"Um, w-wait Bel-senpai," And now Fran had every reason to drop his usual calm composure. Who wouldn't if the senpai that was usually all for using you like a pin cushion was now for screwing you into a wall?

Bel completely ignored Fran. "Just shut up already, froggy." He placed his hands on the wall, trapping Fran. He knocked off the stupid frog hat, and then leaned in, proceeding to nip at his ear. He watched the frog squirm. He tried again, this time licking the outer shell. And this time, he swore he heard his breath hitch. Continuing his merrily way, Bel dragged his tongue against the side of his neck, moving downwards. His progress was interrupted when he ran into the Varia jacket that they usually sported. However, that was easily fixed, as he pulled out another knife, and placed it near one of the button's on the Varia uniform. He forced one of the top buttons to pop off with the knife, then the next one, and continued until no buttons were remaining and the jacket easily opened.

"Bel ... senpai." Fran breathed.

Again, Bel placed his arms on each side of Fran, pressing his knee against the other down south. "Ushishi. Someone's enjoying themselves." He watched Fran's face contort as he took a sharp intake of breath. "Well, froggy, if you liked that, you'll love this." He took his knee and began to grind it against Fran who did all but moan.

"A-aah," Fran pushed his hands against the wall for support, as he felt his hips involuntarily jerk to meet with Bel's knee. His legs almost buckled. "B-Bel ...sen ... "

"Ushi-shi," Bel chimed as leaned in for another kiss, this time, glad that Fran was making an attempt to return it. Not to forget what he was previously doing, he continued to apply pressure against the other. This caused Fran to break the kiss, gasping. Bel saw this as an opportunity to continue the kiss, placing his mouth over the other's open one, thrusting his tongue in. Before long, both needed air, and decided to part. As Bel was trying to catch his breath, he rested his head against the other's, chuckling, "Not bad, froggy, not bad."

Fran choose to regulate his breathing again, rather than comment on what the heck was even going on anymore. Oh, not that it was bad, mind you. Really, not bad at all. In fact, it was even good. So good, that Fran boldly kissed Bel, a quick kiss, then pulled back, a light blush tinting his cheeks.

"Then, you do agree. Ushishi, good froggy."

Just as they initiated another kiss, a loud, unpleasant static sound was overheard on their communicator ear pieces, causing them both to draw away, leaving Fran confused and Bel irritated.

And then, "VOIIIII! ATTENTION!"

They both were quick to remove their communicators before the ear-shattering voice reached their ears.

Fran watched as Bel frowned in displeasure, and could read his face, wondering what their stupid commander could possibly want this late into the night.

"PENIS! THAT IS ALL!"

Bel felt something snap, when he realized what Squalo had to say - which was nothing at all.

After the static died down, Fran sighed. "Commander Squalo sure knows how to ruin things." Fran stated, looking to the other.

They both hung their head, realizing that the mood was indeed ruined.

And then Fran spoke up, "Too bad, eh, fake prince?"

Bel whipped his head around to Fran. "What did you say, you uncute kouhai?"

"You aren't angry?"

"Not yet, I'm not-"

"Oh, well isn't that a shame, supposed prince?"

The prince felt himself twitch in annoyance. Insulting his princely blood and interrupting him - a prince? The frog was really asking for a death wish. Just as he was going to pull out a few knives to hopefully skewer the kouhai, he spoke up again.

"It is best when you're angry, isn't it?"

Bel laughed, catching on, "Maybe you're not such a dumb frog after all."


End file.
